Speaking of God he sent two nice grey haired senior citizens to my door today to give me a copy of a magazine and invite me to "a memorial of Jesus's death". They also explained how Satan was behind all the bad shit that's been going down, which was a relief because now I can stop donating to charities and focus on fighting him.
Here is a bit of our conversation.
Him: See how the word "god" here is not capitalized, that means it's not our Lord but another god. What other god could that mean?
Me: Ummm... (about to say Zesus)
Him: Exactly, Satan.
Him: See Satan is behind all the bad things that are happening in the world today.
Her: Don't you agree that it's gotten bad? With the murder and the evil people.
Me: I'm not sure if I'd say it was any worse than it was before.
Her: Well maybe there is more people in the world now.
Me: Yes, I suppose there are more people in the world now.
Him: And Satan is behind it.
Then they went on to explain how the used to live in Kelowna, then moved to Ontario and just had moved back. They also wanted to know if I knew the people who owned my parents' house seventeen years ago.
I didn't but apparently their name was Bauer, like the hockey skates but they weren't sure if they had anything to do with either the hockey skates or the Leafs goalie Johnny Bower, whom they thought had something to do with Bauer the company.
They also gave me a magazine (Watchtower) with a picture of a globe and someone whipping a shammy over it. The elderly man explained that the hand was wiping the "Old World clean of sin." I didn't point out that the hand was clearly cleaning North America which is the New World, because I didn't want to be impolite.
He used the word "graphic" to describe the picture so I felt a sort of layout dork bond there.