The wheels fall off

I should have known today was going to fall in the same mold of the week of (irony coming) awesomeness that I've been living through when it began at 1:30 am, ended at 5:30 am and then began again at 8:00 am. Yes, in a tragic example of total coolness I woke up for no reason in the middle of the night and then couldn't get back to sleep until about two and a half hours before I was supposed to get up.

The rest of the day has not exactly been coming up roses either. I missed a conference call for senior sales reps that took place this morning at 8:30 am just out of sheer not remembering. I was awake, all I would have had to do was dial a number and brush my teeth as I listened to everyone else talk, but nope. Then due to a the current inventory situation at our store, which is a chain of responsibility far more convoluted than it needs to be, I got in heck for an order of Nokia 3100s not being sent to Victoria a few days ago. I got in heck from the regional manager as well as Ken.

Technically I'm Ken's boss but the whole fucking situation is so fucked up because of how the regional manager has made sure I have no actual authority so that everyone under me is pretty confident that they can treat me like crap with no worries. About a week ago Ken went off on me about how much of a bad manager I am, a rant that apparently he performs quite a lot when I'm not around.

I feel like I can not do anything right at this point.


My parents are angry with me because I haven't been taking my heart medication. Now this isn't a concious decision it's just I ran out of the perscription and I'll think about refilling it every few months but never get around to it and now it's been about 8 months since I've taken it. So it's not like I'm thinking, "Well heart medication is a bad idea", it's just I'm busy and forget a lot.

There is a line somewhere in The Fellowship of the Ring book and I think movie as well about how the ring has given Bilbo a long life but he's starting to feel stretched thin, like too little butter over bread. That's sort of how I'm feeling at this point. I've got so much to be doing that I have to do that I feel stretched thin. Between work, the Phoenix, the PWRCUP conference I'm organizing and trying to unpack and move I feel like I'm just a big balloon being filled with air until I pop. This isn't even adding school in either.

I don't know what I'm going to do. My current plan is to stop spending so much money so I have a little bit of cash for when I graduate. That will give me a few more options because if I want I can fuck off and move somewhere if I want to get away from all this. There's a certain draw to something as ridiculously stupid as making shit money working on a cruise ship or doing the SWAP program through Travel Cuts and going to work in England for a year for no money.

Now back to going through our store's customer database and mailing out offers to clients. It's a job I'm doing because I want to be able to point out one proactive thing I've done at work this week when they come for my head. It won't actually generate any sales, but then neither did the Hoover Dam. (If you get that joke good for you, email me and we can be history geeks).