Saddam Hussein in Teen People

Reading this BBC report of GQ magazine's article about the life of Saddam after being captured in Iraq is pretty funny. The magazine seems to think that Saddam is some sort of movie star, since the information we get is pretty much on the level of something you'd expect to see on a Much Music special about Avril or Jessica Simpson.

The guard described how Saddam Hussein spent each day watering plants and was obsessive about cleanliness, continually wet-wiping the cutlery he used to eat his meals.

He did not want a treadmill that guards installed in his cell, asking instead for a table-tennis table. The request was turned down.

He enjoyed Raisin Bran Crunch for breakfast, but refused to eat Froot Loops.

He liked to snack on Cheetos, until someone brought him a bag of Doritos, which he took silently into a corner and ate in a hurry.

So there you go, the real reason the United States attacked Iraq was so we could introduce its dictator to Doritos. To be fair the article does get a bit serious for about thirty seconds when demands to see George W. Bush so he can negotiate a peace treaty and when he gets sad about hearing of the death of Ronald Reagan who sold him all his weapons of not-quite-mass-destruction.