The Completely Useless Guide to Being Poor While Living Rich

Science World

Over the last week or so I've been writing a guide to how to like a life of great wealth without spending much money. This guide would have taught you how to do things like go to see touring Broadway musicals without spending a dime. That sounds useful, but sadly the entire 200 page work can be boiled down to "get engaged to a woman whose roommate works at a radio station."

I was going to try selling the guide at local flea markets, but after the dismal sales of my first book [blrb] I decided that a 500 page book whose basic message didn't even take up half of the back of the jacket on the hard cover version was a bit cheeky.  I mean I'm not Deepak Chopra, I don't have the name recognition to pull that shit off.

What prompted my writing of the book was when Lydia's roommate Sarah got us free tickets to the Vancouver opening night of Spamalot [mbv].  It had been a play that I'd been interested in going to, but by the time it was announced that the touring company was coming to Vancouver I'd already moved out of the phase of my life where I could afford to pay for things and into the phase of my life where I eat rice and bulk chicken breasts.  The fact that the United Nations isn't delivering the rice from the back of trucks to my house is a small victory, I mean it's actually store bought.  So that's me for the win.

The other advice I have is know someone who works in the tourism industry.  Through the hostel Lydia got this wicked pass that gets her and a guest, typically me, into all sorts of tourist type spots.  On our weekend, which last week just happened to be Canada Day and the day after, we used the pass to take the False Creek Ferries three times, ride the Vancouver Trolley, go see the newborn baby Beluga at the Vancouver Aquarium and then go to Science World all for about four dollars each.

All of which is handy since I've got about $150 that I'm stretching until the 15th when I'm next paid.  The fact that the part time job is coming out to about one shift a month (June had two shifts and July brings zero), means that stretching a dollar is important.  Even more important now that for the second time in about a year I've had my wages cut at work.